My intentional embodiment of avatars stretches back to my entrance to this specific life, but my work has been divided: first as an artist, exploring various material and digital forms of avatar, and secondly as an academic, researching and now crafting and running a unique course on the subject combining history, theory, storytelling, and performative expression.

As artist, the ongoing series with tenu has been the most cohesive and distinct. tenu, though not always written as such, is me as other _and_ is me as self, present in the moment, present without temporal or spatial bounds. And when I stream in/as tenu, there are experiences of freedom to return with after the expression, consciously and subconsciously.

What started as an attempt to decipher what it would mean to deliver content out of context, in a space and body incongruous, culminated in a being known for their wisdom, kindness, and even authority, in a sea of anarchy. This was an experience and an outcome for which neither myself nor my avatar, tenu, was prepared.

In less esoteric terms, I started my embodiment series as the non-streamed, non-recorded performance-readings of academic journal articles in VRChat while embodying my virtual avatar, tenu. I was looking for a performance space that would contrast with the content, be rather niche, but of course still offer a decently sized audience for VR performance. With Second Life’s 3D world dying a quick death, unfortunately, and Meta/Facebook’s group VR space being in beta and focused on corporate ventures, the obvious hosting space was VRChat. I had spent time in VRChat and enjoyed the customization as well as the open-source nature of it, and it certainly was leading the charge in VR users space and feature-set of choice.

Interestingly, the audience I gathered in VRChat, as it grew in popularity as a platform, became a seemingly younger one — often lonely, sometimes isolated, but always willing to ‘hang out’ for a bit. The articles I chose were perhaps a bit difficult to understand out of academic context, but always exclusively uplifting material about the role of story in growth or the value of play in learning. When I would finish, the other ‘players’ in VRChat would ask me questions or occasionally share their thoughts on the topic, all while dancing around, sending emotes, and chattering through their mics.

I would stay after my reading each time, waiting for the crowd to thin out, watching as they would start to make friends or be called to dinner in the physical world. But as interesting as it was, it was too chaotic for me: I would never know anything about them, never know what real life was like for them, never know if they were lonely and if so, was it short-lived? I disliked the dynamic of the ephemeral in this scenario, much like how I can enjoy the concept of Kind Words, but cannot play it since you are, by design, removed of agency through anonymity. And so I ended that brief series quite quickly though I continue to keep abreast of the unfolding research into the psychology of unsupervised online play, and in particular, with various forms of interaction and agency from simple avatar movement, to monitored posting, to text chat, to voice chat, to VR immersion.

For my own work, I moved to streaming on Twitch (to a definitely adult audience) embodying tenu. I find this far more bearable, even cathartic. It has been an interesting journey, one which has moved from being very niche to being part of a larger, but still niche, community.

While vtubing was certainly popular in Japan and in other countries, and had a tremendously involved history, I started this just before it became popular in the USA, and so I found myself accepted, but considered confusing at best. There were certainly people embodying their VRChat avatars and exploring recording with them to YouTube, and others who created voiced machinima years ago (I taught one of the first classes on that over a decade ago), but utilizing my avatar as my exclusive appearance on my stream, was far less common, particularly for USA audiences, when I began this happening,’ than it started to become just a year later in 2020.

tenu has never had an enormous audience, but the recent increase in the popularity of vtubers over the last five years has indeed served to increase the viewership of performances. But it is more about the original and ongoing empowerment that came from embodying tenu as virtual avatar, which has not changed, which prompted me to design a course. My course, for both undergraduates and graduates, covers a historical timeline of avatars, embodiment, and also the technology that has made virtual avatars, as tools of self-expression, possible for such a broad community. My lectures and discussions touch on puppetry, dolls, theater, idols, and more, as we weave our way to the contemporary, but I also discuss the psychology behind embodiment, the proteus effect, mirror neurons, empathy, etc. and the studies around these topics. When it comes to the technology, I love retro hardware and investigating how one technological solution may feed or inspire another, as we build off one another in meaningful and manageable steps. I enjoy seeing the ah-ha moments as students follow the connecting paths.

And then there is the experiential and highly creative portion. The students write their backstories, their origin stories. They draft their motivation and work in groups to discover a ‘community’ which will bond them in their performance on stream. They craft their characters, design their avatars, and build their digital representation while setting up the necessary technology — with some following further steps if they are excited about full-body tracking, finger tracking, or more nuanced face tracking.

I have created a number of courses on several unique topics, and some of my favorites have been HCI in the Arts where we explore microcontrollers and electronic components to build fantastical ways of interacting/engaging, and Interactive Theatre which provides countless, amazing opportunities to express oneself and explore the soul, much like Embodying Virtual Avatars. However, what is unique to this course and experience, is that while theatrical lighting and makeup and staging can provide an incredible variety of expression and conjure a potion to ignore inhibition, it requires a significant amount of work for a one time (or short time) event. Virtual avatars for streaming allow you to have a visual to embody, in an instant. You want to jump on and play a game with friends? You want to do your homework in a ‘study-group’? You want to just yap about the latest book you read and your favorite tea? In a second, you’re visually ‘you’ and ready to go.

As I researched material for the course lectures, there was a significant information about modern day virtual avatars being created and used by streamers who might suffer from illness or be differently abled, etc., and many simply enjoyed not having to ‘get dressed up’ — to meet standards or expectations.

After running my class for the first time, the number of personal responses in the form of emails and some anonymous letters left at my office, was so heartwarming. I create these courses because I love the subject and believe they can inspire others, but to see the response for this specific experience, was beyond expectation.

I am looking a bit more into this because I am curious about the ability of embodiment, even in a classroom setting, to influence discourse outside of class, on certain visually appointed features such as gender, age, ethnicity, abledness, etc.. I was accepted to participate in the Gender Expanding Live Streaming Symposium at Smith College with my abstract on the topic, and I have my participant surveys ready to go before IRB next semester when I run the class for a third time (with a co-professor that I have invited). Whatever I may or may not find, for as long as there is an interest in the course, I am truly honored to have made it available for students.

As for tenu — it is absolutely critical that my identity as Ulm is not connected to my streaming avatar, but my current intentional pieces include:
“tenu Speaks”
“tenu ASMR”
“tenu Speaks Again”
“To Be an Algorithm Vessel”
“Go Touch Laser Grass”
“Back in the Summer of ’25” (my latest as I update this post)

Needless to say, this is not tenu (nor is the one at the top of this post), but she will share the start of one of tenu’s tales from “tenu Speaks” (2020).